To be a dude is to lose stuff constantly; your wallet, your keys, your pants if you’ve had enough to drink and eventually your dignity and sanity. There is nothing, however, more frustrating than losing your cell phone. Luckily there are apps available to help keep track of the most important companion in your life.

The Lookout Mobile Security app helps you locate your lost cell phone from any computer, thanks to a GPS system, or can trigger a sound effect that literally makes the phone scream until you locate it. The latter sounds like it would work much better as a tool for pranking by purposely hiding your phone under a couch cushion or in the truck of your mom’s car.

There’s a free version available, as well as one you can pay for that includes features like the ability to lock your device down or wipe its memory should it fall into the wrong hands. It’s always nice to know you can erase those drunken snapshots you took at the bachelor party you and your boys vowed never to speak of again.

Just kidding. You don’t have friends. You can’t even keep track of a cell phone. You can’t possibly maintain human relationships. Let’s hope there is an app to wipe away your sad, lonely tears.