‘Celebrity Apprentice’ named its cast for the upcoming season yesterday, and among the names, is former Miss Universe and Miss Venezuela Dayana Mendoza.  

Dayana will fill the role of ‘gorgeous woman needed for the bikini moments’ this season on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ but there is something on her resume much more impressive to us than her beauty pageant wins. According to her Wikipedia page, Dayana was “once kidnapped in Venezuela, and stated the trauma taught her to remain poised under pressure.” Um, after a kidnapping, a beauty pageant sounds about as pressure-filled as a beauty pageant. It was probably one of the reasons she won the crown — the guilt factor.

More pageant contestants should get kidnapped. A woman should win almost automatically for surviving an abduction. The question and answer section would go “How do think the world could be more eco-friendly?” and the girl’s answer would be “I was kidnapped once.” Hand her the crown. Play the song. Drop the confetti. Pageant is over.