The Marlins Are Suing Their Own Fans

Season ticket holders are the backbone of franchises. Year in and year out, they devote a portion of their hard-earned income to support their beloved team. You want to know how the Miami Marlins are paying back their season ticket holders? By taking them to court.

"Thanks for the cash, talk to our lawyers.

-Sincerely, the Worst Franchise in Sports"

We all know the Marlins are the worst franchise in all of sports, but they sure do like to protect their crown.

You see, nine season ticket holders had the audacity to get upset with the Marlins for going back on their word. They were promised special parking, food and other perks, and when the Marlins pulled those services, the paying fans basically said, "What the hell?" The franchise's response was swift, and it was the equivalent of an extended middle finger to the fan base.

Instead of saying, "Sorry for pulling your VIP parking, we couldn't afford to pay the usher because we're idiots who are losing money hand over fist" or "we can't afford to feed you anymore," the Marlins decided to sue the season ticket holders that dared to complain.

Good move, Marlins. Take your only die-hard fans to court. That will fix your problems.

Not only did the Marlins cost the city of Miami almost half a billion dollars building their amusement-park stadium, they're now proceeding to alienate their few loyal fans.

Oh yeah, that's not all. They're suing vendors too. You know, the people that sell the overpriced food and drinks? Even they're getting screwed by the Marlins.

Remember former Saints linebacker Johnathan Vilma? The Miami grad wanted to put a restaurant in the Marlins' new joke of a stadium, but the organization didn't fulfill their side of the bargain. They promised him packed houses and assured profits, and the Marlins are lucky to get a school bus full of children in the park on game day. Vilma wasn't the only vendor the Marlins fed lies to, and they're suing them for complaining too.

So let's get this all straight: none of this is the Marlins fault, and we're all jerks for telling them they're not doing their job right. Got it.

Someone might want to explain to the Marlins how sports work. Fans come to your games, and if they enjoy themselves, they come back and keep spending money. Hopefully, they like the experience enough to keep returning. Ideally, they buy season tickets and become a dependable source of revenue. So Miami's formula of providing a crappy baseball team, backing it up with worse customer service and suing anybody that complains might need some tweeking.

I'm not an owner or anything, but I'm pretty sure suing your own fans and vendors is a bad idea. I better look out though. If I keep bad mouthing the Marlins, I might end up in court too.