How To Lose A Cajun In 10 Days
In 2003, the romantic comedy "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" was released starring Kate Hudson and Mathew McConaughey. In the movie, McConaughey's character Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive and ladies' man who, to win a big campaign, bets that he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days. Feelings and hi-jinx ensue, and everyone is happy in the end. I guess, I'm not completely sure. I've never seen it but I'm sure it's a fine film. The movie's title got me thinking, what things would someone have to do or say to lose a Cajun in 10 days?
Nothing will have a Cajun looking for the exits quicker than tomatoes in a gumbo. If you want to keep your Cajun happy, don't ever, ever, ever do this. You have been warned.
Cajuns are Saints fans. Saints fans really don't like the Atlanta Falcons, and that's an understatement. A Cajun Saints fan will not be able to ever be OK with their significant other being a Falcons fan. It's a question of character. Sure, there are exceptions to this rule, but if you really like the Cajun you're with, I wouldn't test it.
In Acadiana, we have festivals every weekend, sometimes two or three at the same time. We work hard and when the weekend comes, we like to play hard. Festivals are a great place to do that. Food, music, dancing, cold beer and fun are what we're all about. It's our joie de vivre. If you don't like hanging out at festivals, it could be a deal breaker.
This is hands down a Cajun capitol offense. Our pots are heirlooms, handed down for generations in many cases. It takes many years of good eatin' to get a pot seasoned the way we want it. Sure, the pot may look like something someone else would get rid of, but not to a Cajun. Donating to Goodwill is fantastic, but donating a Cajun's cookery is not. It's bad bad.
This question will get you the stare of death. Yes, a Cajun will eat crawfish again, and again, and again. Crawfish season is more like a sport to a Cajun. We play, and eat, to win. Eating crawfish five nights in a week is not strange, it's encouraged. If you're not down with eating crawfish and eating a lot of them, you can consider the relationship over. C'est tout !
C'est what? Boudin might be the most perfect food on this Earth. There are many different kinds, and boudin is served many different ways. In fact, we eat it for any meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner or a midnight snack, boudin is something a Cajun must eat. If you think it's gross, then the relationship is hopeless.
No, it doesn't. OK, maybe a little, but it's so much more than just music. The lyrics and the rhythm are the super important things here. We love to dance, and zydeco makes us dance all night long. When you understand the intricacies of the music, you understand that it actually doesn't all sound the same. A Cajun will hit the door and not look back if you say anything like this.
A Cajun likes food with some kick to it. Hollywood would have you believe Cajun food means that it's burnt and salty, but this isn't true. Well, maybe it is a little. We don't like our food boring and bland. Eating is an event to us, and who wants a boring event? Our food needs to be exciting. If we can't talk about how good our lunch was all day long then what's the point? To make it exciting, we spice it up. There's nothing more depressing to a Cajun than a boring, bland, uneventful meal.
This will stop the relationship before it begins. Cajuns love Bud Light. Sure, we drink other beer, but there's something about a cold Bud Light that really gets us going. If you don't have a steady supply of it, you'll notice we slowly just stop coming around.
Have you ever seen the movie "Water Boy"? There's a bunch of things they got wrong about Cajuns in that movie, but our blind love and devotion to our mama isn't one of them. Our mom is second only to maybe our maw maw. To a Cajun, family is everything. If our mom finds out about this one, the relationship will be out of our hands and she'll make us break up with you. We listen to our mama!