Yes, we know your stomachs are still coping with all the Halloween candy you just ate. But believe it or not, Thanksgiving, the mother of all gluttonous holidays, is just a few short weeks away.

The Calorie Control Council tells us that the average American will consume 4,500 calories at Thanksgiving. But that statistic may be a bit exaggerated—unless your idea of a holiday feast is about 16 slices of pepperoni pizza with large soda chaser, that is.

Even with a heaping plate full of turkey, stuffing, dinner rolls and mashed potatoes, followed by a generous portion of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, the typical traditional Thanksgiving dinner adds up to only about 2,500 calories. (Well, maybe "only" isn't the best word there.) And while you are almost certain to be rendered physically helpless by consuming that many calories in one meal, it's still a far cry from the apocalyptic stomach trauma that would likely occur from attempting to devour almost double that portion.

However, we know that some of you more sadistic culinary daredevils are going to try it anyway. But before you do, you should know that after consuming a large meal, it can take up to 12 hours for it to leave your stomach. Then there are the increased risk factors associated with gluttonous behavior, ranging from indigestion to a heart attack.

With that in mind, your best chance for survival this Thanksgiving is simply to eat smaller portions and extend your holiday intake over the course of the entire day.

[CCCNew York Times]