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How To Lose A Girl In 30 Seconds

(Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

As any guy that’s ever enjoyed the sweet taste of instant rejection can tell you, girls are mean. They lay in wait, anxiously anticipating a wrong move from an unsuspecting male. As soon as he makes a mistake, she will swiftly and efficiently destroy him to the delight of her and all her friends.

 

Talking to girls is hard, and sometimes you ruin your chances before you even start. Don’t be that guy.

 

Here are five tips to help you increase your chances of at least surviving the first 30 seconds. After that, you’re on your own.

 


1

Clichés

 
 

This will blow you mind.

 

Ever notice how in chick flicks, the first meeting between the leading man and woman is always odd. They usually end up in an argument, or get thrown together by some strange happenstance, or serendipity. Then spend the rest of the movie trying to convince them that the person they initially disliked or overlooked is actually their soul mate.

 

Now, contrast this with the similar first meeting in an action movie, where the hero will see the beautiful girl all alone, eyeing him from across the room, approach her with confidence and swagger, open with some witty line, and smile knowingly as the movie cuts to the tastefully shot love scene.

 

This, if nothing else should prove that when it comes to seduction, women and men have completely different ideas about how it’s supposed to work. You are not going to get away with walking up and being James Bond. She wants you to entertain her. Captivate her. She wants you to be different. That is why one of the worst mistakes you can make is saying the same damn thing every other guy that’s ever approached her has said.

 

The following lines are now banned from your vocabulary, at least for the first five minutes of conversation:

 

“What do you do?”

 

“You look familiar…”

 

“What school did you go to?”

 

“What’s your major?”

 

“What’s your sign?”

 

“You are the hottest girl in the bar.”

 

She has heard these lines a million times and is programmed to go into sleep mode as soon as she hears them. Be different. Be memorable. Be yourself, don’t be boring. Instead, try something that shows off your personality a little more. Something like…

 

“I wish they had monkey bars for adults.”

 

“Have you ever sky dived?”

 

“Do you think math really exists?”

 

“What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift?”

 

I know it sounds weird, but if she’s into you, it won’t really matter. She’ll laugh and answer, and you will definitely get to know her a lot better than with the dead-end, now banned, clichéd phrases above.

 
2

Hey Buddy, Watch Those Hands

 
 

Touching can be a good thing. Nothing increases physical chemistry quite like touching. However, proceed with caution! Too much touching too fast will land you a one-way ticket to Creeper Ville, and there is no coming back from Creeper Ville.

 

So in the first 30 seconds, aside from the occasional incidental contact, lets try to observe her personal bubble, and keep the touching to a minimum.

 
3

I’m Sorry To Bother You But…

 
 

It’s no secret, one characteristic that girls across the board find attractive is confidence, and there is no better way to sound like a scared little timid boy than to apologize to a girl you’ve just met for trying to talk to her.

 

In apologizing, you are basically admitting that she is superior to you, and your conversation is not worth her time. Whether you believe this to be true or not, its extremely important that you never allow her to believe it. Once she see’s you as inferior, all is lost. So don’t apologize, because talking to you is a privilege, not a punishment.

 
4

Her Friends

 
 

One of the most common blunders in all of seduction is approaching a group of females, singling one out, and refusing to acknowledge the others. This approach is inherently flawed because more often than not, the ignored friends who will most likely already dislike you because of your rudeness grow impatient and pull your target away before you get the chance to make any sort of impression.

 

Talk to her friends. At least say hello. In fact, most seduction experts agree that the best strategy is to first talk only to the friends while largely ignoring the target. This will increase your chances of success once you finally make your move, and greatly decrease the chances that the friends pull her away from you.

 
5

The Other Woman

 
 

Females are a naturally competitive species. They love to compete against other females, and they HATE losing. Knowing this, it might sound like a good idea to initially mention other girls in your life to pique the target’s interest and ignite her competitive juices. However, in most cases, this will backfire on your butt, because chances are, the girl you just met has no desire to fight for some guy she just met against some girl she’s never met.

 

It may seem like a good idea, but for at least the first 30 seconds, please keep your ex, your mom, whoever out of the conversation.

 

Babes

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